Oh.My.Goodness. I haven’t posted on here in so long. I’ve had a couple of drafts saved but I have been too afraid to post them, and then life got in the way like it tends to do. Then I remembered this was all about putting myself out there no matter how scary. Any who, this is a post I’ve had saved for a long time and stumbled upon it once again only to see that it is definitely what I needed to read. A reminder to myself and possibly others.
(And sorry about the lack of posts, that will be changing very soon. I’m possibly going to do a blogging challenge!)
Go outside. Ask a person for ten flaws about themselves, it won’t take long. Ask them for five things they absolutely adore about themselves, and here you’ll have to wait a while. Do you see the problem here? Insecurity is everywhere, and I am no stranger to it.
As I stand in front of the mirror and begin to over-analyze everything about myself for the billionth time, I started to take a different approach. As I began my usual, “oh this needs work…and that too… and this too,” I found myself picking out the simple things that I really actually loved.
I hate my frizzy hair, but I adore the way it curls and bounces. I can’t stand my acne-ridden skin, but I love my long lashes, my pierced nose, and my delicate lips. My chin annoys the crap out of me, yet I can’t help but admire my neck and collarbones. Little by little, I found bits and pieces of myself that were actually quite fabulous, all the way from my locks to my toes. All the little things that I have been overlooking for so long suddenly were beginning to outshine all the “big” things I have been trying to change for so many years. And these are purely physical attributes, I can’t imagine how it would go if I dove deep into my personality to pull out all the spectacular parts.
So long I’ve spent running away from myself, trying to convince myself that if I change this or that I can be gorgeous like all the other girls. It has been an uphill battle and I don’t fully believe I’ve reached the top yet. Although, for this moment, I’ve been able to reach some sort of high and just stopped to enjoy the view. For this stretch of time, who knows how long it’ll last, I can be comfortable in my own skin. How fabulous is that? I love being fabulous. Why else do you think those preschoolers wearing tutu’s to class are so happy? They aren’t afraid of some odd looks because they know they’re fabulous and they work it.
This post is is a letter to me to remind myself that it is possible to find something to love. I can find lovely pieces of myself that reflect all that can be wonderful about myself. I know basic human nature goes to show that I will fall back into the times of hiding behind my weaknesses instead of celebrating my strengths. These positive days won’t come often but I’m hoping I can make them more prominent in my life. I will stand in front of that glass and find one amazing thing about me, even if it’s simple. I will do things that make me happy. If that means wearing a crazy outfit, go for it! If means random red lipstick, go for it! Or maybe you feel perfectly content in just your pajamas, do it! Do whatever will put a beautiful smile on that phenomenal face! I also hope that any person stumbling upon the blog of a crazy eighteen year old will do the same. Just one thing is all it takes.